Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
