And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
please come you make the beer taste better
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
