I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
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