is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
