By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
