I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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