ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
