I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize