Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
