i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
