so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
