I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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