areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
