where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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