ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
