Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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