is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
