just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
