So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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