my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
