I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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