I'm drive I can fine osifer
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
