That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
