I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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