im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
