God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
