Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
