On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
