So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
