nut hugger
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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