haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It was confusing and full of hummus
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
