Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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