If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
not ubering you a puppy
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
