I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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