when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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