That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
