You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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