yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
