It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My cat gives me a boner
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Pants are for mortals
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize