forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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