first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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