ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
