This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He? As in you personified your dick?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm having to shit out rocks
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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