Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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