Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Houston, we have a blender
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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