just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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