Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
