just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
