it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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