Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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