once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
