I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
