Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
