I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Randomize
