Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We left the knife in your bed.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
