the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
