just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
ttyl tear gas
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
