I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
