One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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