I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
