What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
did i just pee glitter
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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