i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
did i walk over a car last night?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you're hired as official boob wrangler
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
