He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
