whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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