You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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