Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
